I have been a reader of this website for some time. I don't know much of 4 pillars. What i can tell you is don't loose hope, if you give up, no one can back you up. I was born in Dec 8, 1953, my chart is very similar like yours, same date pillar, water in year pillar, Shiang Guang in month pillar, and there is no fire on the uper part of the 4 pillars. However, i got married, have a smart son, and a stable good job. I don't think i am a tough wife and mother. I believe in fate but i also believe education can change our fate. Good luck and hope you can read in English.